I Don’t Have This Life Thing Figured Out, and That’s Okay

I don’t have this life thing figured out and that’s okay. I honestly thought that once I had connected enough consecutive days sober, I’d finally reach a place where everything felt settled. That I could breathe easy, knowing I’d made it. But that day never came.

I’ll have 16 years sober on November 12, and I’m sitting here writing this to tell you that life is still messy. Over the past 16 years, there’s been a lot of good and a lot of not-so-good. I’m 58 years old, and I still worry about money. I worry about my future. I’ve hit a point where I no longer want my advertising agency to be my main source of income. I’ll always stay connected to it, but my job is not who I am. It’s just what I do. My passion has shifted. I find myself craving more connection, more purpose. I want to help people in a way that goes beyond business.

So here I am. Sitting in this uncomfortable wait and see.

Some things I’ve done right over these years, though. I’ve learned to put money aside. When you run your own small business, clients don’t always pay on time, and you have to figure out how to keep the lights on anyway. I’ve learned to pay bills ahead because sometimes that’s the only way to breathe. I’ve learned patience too. I just closed on a big billboard asset, but I won’t see any of that money until spring of 2026. So for now, I find myself worrying, questioning, and trying to trust that things will work out.

I’m sharing this because this is life. I no longer feel like I need to show the world that I have it all figured out. Because I don’t. Each day, I try to be honest about where I am and where I’m not. When I’m not being honest, I’m living out of ego. I don’t want anyone who reads my blogs to think I’m a guru or that I have some magic formula for life. I’m just a woman trying to live it the best I can, hoping something I share helps someone else feel less alone.

What I’ve learned over time is that it’s self-awareness that pulls me out of the spiral. I know when I’m future tripping, because that’s when worry takes over. It’s when I stop trusting that I’m right where I’m supposed to be. When I catch myself in those moments, I remind myself to trust the process. To believe that everything happening right now is part of what’s preparing me for what’s next.

And this is where GRIT shows up for me. Growth reminds me to stay open and keep learning instead of clinging to what’s safe. Resilience gives me the strength to get back up when life knocks me down. Integrity keeps me honest about what’s real, not what looks good from the outside. And Tenacity helps me keep moving forward even when I can’t see what’s ahead.

I go through those four words as my check up from the neck up. They push me to be real with myself. They challenge me to face what’s uncomfortable instead of running from it. They remind me that I can work through what’s trying to hold me back from becoming my better self.

Maybe life isn’t about having it all figured out. Maybe it’s about being honest enough to admit when you don’t — and having the GRIT to keep going anyway.

Reflection: Where in your life are you trying to prove you have it all together? What would happen if you let yourself be honest about where you really are?

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