When Words Try to Attach
I never saw it coming. Eight years sober, remarried, and finally living what I thought was peace. Then one text message, “I want a divorce.” Just like that, the floor gave out.
The days that followed were messy. Hurtful words came out of her mouth during the divorce that cut deep. Words that went right for my character. And as much as I wanted to brush them off, they attached to me. They wrapped around my thoughts and dug into my chest until I couldn’t tell the difference between her pain and my truth.
My dear friend and sponsor, the one I call my spiritual coach, said something I’ll never forget: “You can’t let them attach. Some people are just meant to flow in and out of our lives.”
I heard her, but I was angry. I said, “I get what you mean by not letting those words attach, but how? Tell me how. Tell me what tool I can pull out of my toolbox to stop them from sticking.”
She said
“When you feel them attaching and taking you out of the day, be quiet. Take a deep breath in and out. Keep doing that until you feel the heaviness release.”
I’ll be damn! It worked.
The next time those words tried to crawl back in, I stopped. I got still. I took slow, deliberate breaths. And little by little, the weight of them loosened. The words didn’t disappear, but they lost their power.
Here’s what I learned. Not letting things attach doesn’t mean pretending they don’t hurt. It means I don’t give them a permanent place to live inside me. It means I choose peace over poison.
So when someone’s words or actions sting, pause. Take a breath. Let it pass through instead of letting it dig roots. Because what’s meant for you will stay, and what’s not will move on.
Three Tools to Practice When Words Try to Attach
Pause before reacting. Breathe deeply until the sting softens.
Ask yourself: Do I need to carry this, or can I let it pass?
Anchor in truth. Write down one thing that reminds you who you are, not who someone says you are.
Reflection Question
What words or moments have I allowed to attach that no longer deserve to live rent-free in my heart?
